Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Pointless hopes

I have this horrible habit of getting my hopes up and then getting disappointed when it doesn't happen. It's not like I am riding on this one thing, but I do get relatively sad when they don't happen. Most recent example? Spending time with Mi Voluptas. We were going to ask to spend time together today after school, but she didn't get a chance, and when she did get a chance, she forgot. So we decided to ask for tomorrow. Her mom said no. In our plan, I was going to walk to her therapy appointment with her and then go home with her after. Her mom said no, but she said I should still walk with her, but the idea just.... it didn't appeal to me. She said I could get a walk home, so I would get to walk down town, sit in the waiting room for an hour, then go home. It seems pointless to me. So I told her that, and she was hurt that I wouldn't want to walk with her anyway. I do want to walk with her, I just want to go to her house afterwards. We haven't had time together since this weekend, and you all know how that worked out. Stupid Pink. We get time at school, but I am dying for some time that we can cuddle without teachers yelling at us to split up. It's like they were never teenagers, like they don't know what its like to want to be close to another person. Must be because of how cold hearted they are.

My sister has a friend over right now. That REALLY pisses me off. She is an obnoxious brat, yet the adults still let her come over all the fucking time. They are loud and they run through our tiny house yelling at the top of their fucking lungs, and I just want to beat them. Last time she was over, they both stormed into my room and started talking really loudly to Voluptas, who was on video call. I hate fucking children.

Oh, I also ran four consecutive laps on the track today. That equals a mile. I am proud of myself. Then why am I so near tears?


No comments:

Post a Comment