Bipolar Day

So this morning was fun, then from geometry to like halfway through health ~geometry is first period, health is last~ I was a wreck. I have never felt so insane. I jiggled my leg nonstop, and stared into space with bugging eyes, and I had no control over it. When I moved, it was in sudden, jerky motions. I did not pay attention in any of my classes except health ~I actually enjoy health- call me crazy, I can prove it~

Do you have that one song that just.... gets to you? It really makes you think, or it brings you down dramatically, even if you were really happy? I do. It's called Sophie, by Eleanor Mcevoy. I really like this song, it is a good song, but it has a scary effect on me. It's about this girl named Sophie ~duh~ who is anorexic. She isn't trying to fight it, and it's tearing her family apart. Whenever I am really down about my image, I listen to Sophie. It doesn't help, but I do it anyway.

Recently, I had a real heart to heart with Voluptas about my eating habits. I told her EVERYTHING ~stuff I won't actually go into here, but it was not fun~ Voluptas said that if I don't fix this in a month, she is going to tell someone, an adult that will take charge. That means I have a month to start thinking of myself as naturally beautiful, a month to get used to eating at least two meals a day, a month to stop obsessing about exercise. Can I do it? I really don't know. Yesterday, I ate lunch, and dinner, and a bit of a snack.... then I felt like a pig. Today, I ate dinner, a really tiny desert, and some soda.... then I felt like a pig. I swear, I have three voices in my head. I have me, the innocent bystander. I have Part 1. That part is pro food. Then I have Part 2. That part is anti food. So Parts 1 and 2 are squabbling inside my head while the Me part is being manipulated and really doesn't know what side to listen to. Part 2 seems louder. It's scary. *sigh*

But like I said, today wasn't all bad. It was a bipolar day. All day I was CRAVING chocolate chip pancakes ~One part of being constantly hungry is that EVERYTHING looks appealing, and you get REALLY random cravings~ so at the end of the day, I texted my dad and said "If you buy chocolate chips, I will make dinner for me and my sister" I ended up just making them for myself, but they were soooo nommy! ~Nommy is my official word for yummy. It comes from the root word "om nom nom" which translates directly into Engish as "chomp chomp chomp"~ So I got to make pancakes! I loaded them with chocolate chips, and they were really good, but I fail at flipping them. I just need more practice :D Then I got to make gaufrettes :D They are these waffle shaped cookie things that I made for school. They were fun and easy and they taste good. I got to make them in the waffle maker :D

So, school hours sucked, but that doesn't mean the whole day sucked. I really wish my sister got that concept. ONE bad thing does not mean your ENTIRE day was horrible. Sheesh.

Piggily yours,
~Corazon