Monday, April 12, 2010


It's 5:39am, and I am awake. I leave for school at 6, so I don't have much to go, but I'm bored. I woke up at 10:30, then again at 11:30. Why? Because my stomach was killing me. And I am very scared. I've been feeling very sick lately, all the time. I feel like I have this pressure surrounding my brain, or I feel dizzy or nauseous. Yesterday, all I ate was one manicotti, 230 calories, until around 8 when I had a piece of pot pie, which jumped it to 714 calories. Then I went to bed.... and at 11:30, my stomach started screaming in pain. This is why I'm scared, because this is the second time this has happened. On friday, I didn't eat anything until a bowl of mac and cheese, and it also made my stomach hurt. I'm afraid my body is rejecting food. Which is very very bad.

Voluptas says if we don't talk to someone, she is going to tell my parents. But I can't do this to them. I have already put them through so much grief it's unbelievable. I made them worry the most, and I am not worth it. So I can't let her tell them. The person we are going to talk to... sometimes he can be an asshole, but I actually think he's a good person and a good choice. He's one of the teachers at our school that almost no one likes because of how often he makes fun of students, and I am often one of those that he makes fun of. It's all harmless, except when he gets me on a bad day. But if he is such an ass, why are we going to talk to him? Because I think he cares. I might be wrong, but I think he cares.


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