Hypocricy To The Max

I hate being irritable. By irritable, I mean everything gets on my nerves, then I get mopey, then I take it out on everyone else and turn into a huge bitch. ~Sigh~ So, since this is the second entry of my first blog ever, I am going to rant, because there is probably some therapeutic value to that.

First one: This goes out to everyone who ever got picked last in kickball, the people who didn't make it in the school play, or didn't win the talent show. This goes out to them because they know first hand that is truly sucks to be a second priority. Now, my family is huge. Right now, let's focus on my step sister {Let's call her Red}. Because of the arrangments made between her parent, she spend 3 1/2 days here and 3 1/2 days there. Because of that, I only see her 3 1/2 days a week, thursday-monday morning. So you would think that when she comes here on thursday, she could at least say hi to me. But she doesn't. And when I try to say hi to her, she could at least acknowledge me. And she does..... until her phone rings. Who is it? Why, her boyfriend, of course! The boyfriend that she has been talking to either on the phone or via text all week. And I asked her, am I gonna get attention when we get home? And she said yes. Bull shit. I could keep ranting about her, but I don't wanna make this too too long.

This is where the hypocricy part comes in, because in this paragraph I am going to rant about all those people who think they are fat. This is my example. I have a friend, let's call her CeCe, who thinks she is disgusting, and she eats way too much. This is what she ate today: A bagel, a donut, a tuna sandwich wedge, a cream egg, and a fiber plus bar. Is that too much? If anything it's not enough! But she still thinks, in her own words, that it's "disgusting that she ate that much!!" I will admit, she is not the skinniest girl around, but she's not the largest either. So why am I a hypocrit? Because I am also rather hard on myself. That's what she ate today. Want to know what I ate? A potatoe chip, and a Big Mac Meal. Want to know what I ate yesterday? A burger and a piece of cheese. I admit, it's not enough. I feel hungry, and I fight it, because I hate feeling fat, and when I feel full, I feel fat. I have also been running a lot, and doing crunches. So I have been running with basically no food in me. This is unhealthy, and I realize it's unhealthy, but I don't want to stop. I really can't explain it {Note to Buggy: This is news to you, but please don't start pestering me to eat more. It will just piss me off, and I really don't want to get pissed at you} *sigh* So yeah, I have a lot wrong with me. That is pretty much the top thing right now. Yeah, I'm pretty much starving myself. It's kind of odd how I will admit it but make no move to fix the problem.... And for the record, Voluptas already knows about this, so I am not keeping it from her.

I don't know if you would call this a rant... I think it turned out more like a confession.... Oh well!
Bye bye
~Corazon